does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
