writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
