my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
