I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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