Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
