I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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