I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
