my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
