I've blown a few things in my day
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
