some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
