his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
