Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
