I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
As shirtless as possible
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
