THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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