We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think I just sharted jello shots
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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