this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
