I cockslap morals
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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