Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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