I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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