in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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