I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
