she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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