Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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