tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
