Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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