I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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