Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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