Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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