Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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