You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
