In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
