Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
