i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
