I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
