okay pat passed out under dana's car
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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