During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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