Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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