Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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