It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
