10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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