I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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