6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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