She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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