I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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