i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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