just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
