Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
