nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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