i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
