I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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