you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
