And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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