dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
