he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I wish i was in the wii world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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