i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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