Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
