ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
