...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
