did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
