There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
