I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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