She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
