im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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