do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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