Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
